What’s in a Name?

Story by Kellie Bartoli

What’s in a name? After all, “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” right?

Not according to researchers. Studies show children with strange names earned worse grades and were less popular in grammar school, more likely to fail out or become “psychoneurotic” in college and even have difficulty finding a job, as perspective employers ignore their resumes, according to The New York Times.

Author H. Edward Deluzain seems to agree. In his 1996 article “Names and Personality,” Deluzain theorizes, “A baby’s name can have an impact on self concept and confidence in later years. The name determines the messages other people send the child, either verbally or non-verbally.”

It’s said that actions speak louder than words, so consider this: Scientist Robert Mehrabian performed a simple experiment which shows people with more favorable names are treated better.

In the study, Mehrabian, who is also the president and CEO of Teledyne Technologies Inc., gave papers to a group of teachers without revealing the names of the student authors; the teachers’ grades were consistent throughout. Then the same teachers were given another set of papers to grade, but this time, they knew the children’s names, some of which were unusual. The teachers didn’t know any of these children, and knew nothing else about them other than their names. This time, the children with the strange names received significantly lower grades on their papers compared to the commonly-named students.

So if odd names could hurt a child in the long run, why do parents do it?

The increase in these unique monikers can be attributed to their popularity among celebrity parents. In the celebrity world, baby names range from the downright ridiculous to those impossible to pronounce. Comedian Penn Jillette named his daughter Moxie CrimeFighter. Actress Shannyn Sossamon chose Audio Science for her son. And actress Helen Hunt? She christened her daughter Makena’lei Gordon.

Like almost every trend before it, the regular Joes of the world jumped on the baby name bandwagon. In just ten years, the most popular names went from Michael and Emily to Aidan and Ava for boys and girls, respectively.

But even supporters of bizarre baby names have to draw the line somewhere.

“I like funky names – that aren’t Moon Unit [Frank Zappa’s daughter],” said Columbia College Chicago student Dina Micelli.

And the 21-year old seems to know what she’s talking about. After all, growing up named after your “mother’s brother’s girlfriend” has to leave some effect.

While Micelli admits to some bad experiences, like incorrectly addressed magazine subscriptions, she said overall, she likes having a different name and wouldn’t change it.

Plus, Micelli has a uniquely-named ally in her twin sister, Liza. That’s right, Liza Micelli.

Micelli doesn’t see the tradition of not-so-standard names in her family ending with her, either.

“I love guys’ names for girls, like Joey. I want to name my boy Phoenix…I like [names] that have meaning.”

But not everyone is as accepting of weird baby names.

“Celebrities make it chic and fashionable to name their babies something they’ll regret in 10 years…I wouldn’t name [my kids] something strange,” said Pete Klatt.

Klatt, 26, grew up on the opposite end of the spectrum – one of 10 children, all of whom have traditional, religious names.

“Sometimes I wish my name was more unique…I think [Peter] can sound snobbish,” said Klatt. “But something that’s not just your standard John and Mike…I like the name Xavier.”

Maybe this middle-of-the-road strangeness is the key.

“I like my name a lot,” said Saint Louis University sophomore Vance Erese. “It’s different but not too weird, so I think it’s a good balance.”

Another reason Erese is such a fan of his name: his initials spell it out.

Vance is the 19-year-old’s first name, Andre Nougali (his mother’s maiden name) are his middle names, he chose Christopher as his Confirmation name and his last name is Erese: thus, V.A.N.C.E.

“I would never change [my name] said Erese. “There’s a lot of heritage and I put my own mark on it by picking a C-name so it would spell my initials…It’s interesting and is always my icebreaker on the first day of classes.”

So what about names like Moxie CrimeFighter for a future Erese?

“Celebrity baby names are hilarious. I mean seriously, how do you do that to your child? I guess if I were really famous, I’d name my kids something ridiculous like Apple, just because I could,” said Erese.

“I’ll probably name my kids something normal but a little different…that kind of thing is up to the women, isn’t it?”